Ozzie Guillen’s Prescription for Marlins’ Woes Includes Beer and Sleeping Pills

Ozzie Guillen has the perfect cure for what ails him. It happens to live in the fridge and the medicine cabinet. 

Larry Brown Sports directs our attention to a Palm Beach Post report featuring a question on how the Miami Marlins skipper could sleep at night considering the team is on a downward spiral. 

Guillen was asked how he gets past a 15-5 loss, the outcome Miami suffered at the hands of the Red Sox on Wednesday night. 

The famed master wordsmith answered the only way he knows how—truthfully and humorously. 

Easy. Seven Presidentes (beer) and a sleeping pill and be ready for the job tomorrow.

Who wouldn’t feel at ease with a couple of chill pills and a baker’s six-pack of beer?

We all have our outlets for a hard day at the office. I, for one, am no stranger to a cold beer or some Maker’s Mark to calm the nerves. 

The problem comes when you become specific with your outlet. It just sounds weird if you clearly spell out how you unwind. 

Option A: I just need a good dinner. 

Option B: I will order a burrito, slap on some nachos and sit in a corner and weep while I eat it. 

One is far sadder than the last and, hence, more awkward for the audience. I hope you enjoyed this practice. If not, I will need to get me a good dinner. 

I would also like to give a strong word of advice to Guillen about sleeping pills. They can ruin a perfect opportunity to perform at The Max. 

The Marlins are currently seven games back of the NL East leading Washington Nationals and don’t seem to be prepared to close ground anytime soon. 

The team is 4-13 in the month of June. That’s a whole lot of beers. 

Follow me on Twitter because I said so. 

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